TREY: You want to hear a stupid song? We know plenty of those!
MIKE: We’re gonna lighten it up a bit. We’re gonna lighten it up a bit.
TREY: This isn’t really a stupid song. This is a special song. This is an important song.
MIKE: This is a dance song.
TREY: THIS IS RED ROCKS! THIS IS THE EDGE!
No really, this is a song about… we want to get serious here, because now that we have your attention, we want to talk about — we want to talk about
FISH: Diarrhea.
TREY: An important man who can have an important effect on everybody in this room’s life if they are willing to take a chance to let this person into their hearts and views (beers?) because this is a special man. This man was a great philosopher many years ago.
And this man wrote a great book, for this is the author of the Helping Friendly Book, the book that can change your lives the way it changed ours. And I hope that someday that you, you people will all have the chance to read the Helping Friendly Book and experience the wisdom of the great, the great and knowledgeable man who wrote the Helping Friendly Book because he is the great and knowledgeable, he is the one, the only, author of the Helping Friendly Book. He is the man, the great man, the only, the special...
His name is, the author of the Helping Friendly Book, he is the great, the knowledgeable, the one, the only, the great! The knowledgeable! Person who wrote the helping friendly book! His name could only be the one! The ONE! THE ONLY! THE SPECIAL! THE AUTHOR OF THE HELPING FRIENDLY BOOK! HE WROTE THE FUCKING BOOK, OKAY? HE WROTE THE BOOK! AND HIS NAME! WAS! ICCULUS!
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